PAGE NINE -- No. 102
by Alan Korwin, Author
Gun Laws of America

I've created this special feature for the print media and broadcasters ("Page Nine" regardless of where it runs),
that covers stories afresh, not the way news rooms typically flavor things. It will help reduce the distrust
so many news consumers feel and could be the most avidly followed item you carry -- if you carry it.
It certainly is well received by my audience. This casual sample might make you say, "We'll NEVER run that!"
but Page Nine is built around ad revenues from clear-thinking mainstream businesses.

CONTENTS (live links to stories)
1- Ghadaffi Still Missing
2- Firearm Imports Droop
3- Strictly Lax GunLaws
4- Jobs, Jobs, Not
5- Fishy Fish Tails
6- Orwellian 9-11 Language
7- Election Statistics Missing
8- Justifiable Homicide Stats
9- Tidbits


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Author Alan Korwin
as drawn by Pulitzer-prize-winning cartoonist Steve Benson

The Uninvited Ombudsman Report, Sep. 15, 2011
by Alan Korwin, Bloomfield Press

-- Tell your friends -- Permission to circulate granted --


Texas has six new gun laws in place as of Sep. 1, 2011, and four of them affect CHL holders. The confusion about the parking-lot law is clearly explained at the link below. The law is intended to protect everyone who parks a vehicle on their employer's lot, not just CHLs, despite some questions raised about the wording of the law, on,, TexasGunTalk and possibly others. Download all the changes as an insert for your book, or read the greater detail posted online.


Meet me at the Gun Rights Policy Conference, Chicago, Sep. 23 - 25, 2011!

If you've never been to one now's the time -- it is astounding. So many of the movers and shakers in the gun-rights movement attend, and you get plenty of face time with them. It's held in one huge room and everyone is present. Plus -- it is F R E E -- admission, buffet receptions, snacks, food and beverages, and a small library of books, all included. If you're anywhere near Chicago, make the time and take the trip. I'm at the podium on Sat. from 4:45 to 5:15 p.m. Get details, register for free:


I'm delivering a two-hour program on gun laws and gun rights, on Tue., Sep. 20, at the Franciscan Renewal Center, as part of the Arizona Mainstream Project. 5802 E. Lincoln Dr. in Paradise Valley, about a mile east of Tatum Blvd, 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. in the St. Barbara Room. Contact group leader Honey Marquez for details honey -at-


Don't forget my next local area gun show -- the huge Crossroads of the West event, Oct. 29 - 30, at the Phoenix Cardinals Stadium in Glendale, AZ. You get to walk around on the playing field, it's awesome (but they do retract the grass). More info and other scheduled dates: I will have the brand new Arizona book with me --


The 25th edition
of The Arizona Gun Owner's Guide went to press last week -- expected out in early October 2011 -- can you believe we are 25 editions deep? This is a massive rewrite -- Constitutional Carry changed everything, along with bunches of new self defense, gun-rights protection and carry laws in place. Entire sections were tossed since they no longer apply -- and new ones added. Rules for kids (people under 21) got twisted, sorted out here in plain English. All the changes are summarized and available for download:


Orders will shipped as soon as the new edition arrives.
You can advance order your copy now, and be among the first to get one.
The Arizona Gun Owner's Guide

I've been pouring every available minute into finishing the 25th edition --
accept my apologies for everything that got shoved to a back burner
while I reworked the book that got me started back in 1988,
the book that showed Arizona what her rights were,
the book that launched my career.

It was nearly a total rewrite.
So many of the olden rules have evaporated or morphed.
You can now carry a gun here as you wish, like any other private property,
openly or discreetly. There is almost no way to carry illegally for law-abiding adults
here -- and a only a small number of make-believe so-called gun-free zones (and we're
working on that). We have actually extended the Second Amendment to the entire planet,
as long as you're legally here, and that includes you.

Visit Arizona . See what real freedom feels like.

Click the billboard and visit the state training site.


"My bad" strikes me as an unAmerican defeatist self-deprecating pejorative
yet very popular new phrase. There's no advantage to being trendy with this trash.


Media darling and race baiter, now CNN "news" commentator Al Sharpton, is known for his quick wit and insightful speech, like this pearl: "White folks was in caves while we was building empires. We taught them philosophy and astrology and mathematics before Socrates and them Greek homos ever got round to it." --From a speech given at Kean College, New Jersey, in 1994. Clearly a valuable addition to the CNN lineup, in keeping with their traditions and high standards.


Electile Dysfunction: The inability to become aroused
over any of our elected officials or candidates.


Stunning new book,
click the image for details.


1- Ghadaffi Still Missing

The lamestream media told you:
The lamestream media told you:

Rebels liberated Tripoli, the Arab Spring is advancing, four decades of dictatorship over, Ghadaffi location unknown...

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Aren't those AK-47s the Libyan rebels are waving all around? Where did they get those? Aren't those the guns the Mexican cartels use? Aren't those the guns the BATFE was smuggling into Mexico? Yes, yes, yes and yes.

How did the citizens, called rebels in the "news" media, instead of freedom fighters or some other less rebellious moniker, get so many AK-47s under one of the most brutal regimes known? Could Mexican cartels have the same suppliers? Shouldn't at least one reporter ask? And how come there are so few AR-15s floating around? Isn't it the better gun? Why do the former communist-bloc countries get all the business and American manufacturers don't?

In other news, some observers question whether "Arab Spring" is a proper name, instead of Arab Uprising, or Overthrow of Western-Supported Dictators, or Groundwork for a Global Caliphate. Some observers wondered who these constantly mentioned observers are. The "news" media could not be reached for comment. Who decided that Ghadaffi translated from Arabic has a silent "h" and two "f"s ?

Excellent book for women,
from the editor of Concealed Carry Magazine.
Click the image for details.


2- Firearm Imports Droop

The lamestream media told you:
The lamestream media told you:

After all, it's only hundreds of millions of dollars in business.
This quarter.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

The National Shooting Sports Foundation reports that "overall U.S. quarterly imports (in U.S. dollars) of all sporting arms and ammunition declined 19 percent in the second quarter compared to the same period in 2010." That's a reduction to $273 million, from April to June, down from $337.1 million last year. Rifles however were up 26.3 percent, from $27.1 million to $34.2 million. Shotgun imports also increased 23.4 percent, from $38.3 million to $47.2 million, and even muzzleloaders scored a 7 percent increase, from $6 million to $6.5 million. Ammunition dropped 42.2 percent, from $151.2 million to $87.4 million, and shotgun-shells fell 48.7 percent, from $5 million to $2.5 million. Handgun imports were down 13.1 percent, from $109.5 million to $95.1 million.

The shooting sports are the number two participant sport in the nation, ahead of golf, yet for reasons that were unexplained at press time, golf-industry figures are frequently in the "news" but gun-industry numbers never are. One observer suggests that ammo imports are down because people bought so much inventory during the Obama Ammo Rush of late 2008 and 2009, they have no place to stash any more. Get more details on the state of the industry:

A wonderful book for kids and parent,
click the image for details.


3- Strictly Lax GunLaws

The lamestream media told you:
The lamestream media told you:

Arizona has some of the worst, most lax gun laws in the nation. The Brady Center for the Promotion of Gun Violence gave the state a zero (out of a possible 100) on its report card rating for gun laws, it's so bad.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Arizona has extremely strict gun laws, with everything remotely criminal against the law, usually several ways, with steep fines, long jail time and vigorous prosecutors. You can be put to death in Arizona for the worst violations.

What Arizona has that makes the left and the anti-rights mob so angry, is robust protection for the civil rights of any average resident to keep and bear arms, without interference with this right. The "news" media may call that lax, but to people who know, that's called freedom, and it's desirable. The left is increasingly the party that stands against individual freedom, with some parts of the right unfortunately not far behind.

Because the "news" media sets the tone of debate for the nation, people championing freedom and individual rights are cast as destructive, and must respond defensively. The truly destructive people, like the Bradys, are portrayed as the moral high ground -- precisely opposite of reality. This is what passes for an informed public. It's no wonder the nation is in distress.

People who are against gun rights and other freedoms, or think a law that protects us from government interference is a bad thing, are in essence preaching socialism and dominance of the state over freedom of the individual. This is wrong, and bad, by definition. Knowing what the Brady scores and "news" media really represents, activists in the state were pushing for a minus score.

If you like my work, now you can get six of my best
all-at-once, really cheap, click the image for details.


4- Jobs, Jobs, Not

The lamestream media told you:
The lamestream media told you:

The president plans to unveil a new jobs program under development all summer. The president will reveal his jobs program this week. The president will reveal his jobs program Thursday. The president will reveal his jobs program tomorrow night. President to reveal his jobs program tonight. These are actual headlines.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Not a single reporter had the insight or nerve to ask why a president would reveal a jobs program, when jobs don't come from government. They simply trumpeted, for a week or more, that the government plans to save the nation, according to government sources.

Even the most basic understanding of business, wealth development, productivity, profit and loss, entrepreneurship, business ownership, accounting, market dynamics, product development, marketing, inventory control, sales and supply and demand shows that jobs come from businesses, not the president or government. The only way government can put people to work is by taking money from people who earn it, and giving it to other people for temporary work the officials think is a good idea. This is the opposite of jobs. It is a brake on the economy, and redistribution of wealth under central control.

Mr. Obama's eventual "job" plan is to spend $447 billion he doesn't have. It's a laughable fraud, laughed at by none in the "news" media, who are not calling it Stimulus III, since the first two stimulus schemes were disastrous and fraud laden. They should be ashamed. They're not. Let me be more fair -- commentators laughed out loud, reporters simply reported what they were told, like lapdogs.

Jobs are created by risking capital and sweat equity to create products or services that people want. Demand for the goods and services is built using marketing and sales techniques. Obama's plans to give away money he doesn't have fail on these measures, but this is predictable from a person whose mentors were Marxists with no understanding of business or wealth creation.

New 6th edition, better than ever.
Click the image for details.


5- Fishy Fish Tails

The lamestream media told you:
The lamestream media told you:

The oceans are being overfished, and soon we will have no fish to eat. According to scientific studies, popular fish species are being overfished, and fishers must move fiurther and deeper to get sufficient catches. Fortunately, fish farming is filling some of the gap, and these days, salmon on the menu is more likely to come from a fish farm than open waters.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Farm-raised fish is just a way of converting corn nutrients (plus other nutrients and chemicals) into a different kind of nutrient called fish. In the near future, the secrets of creating fish fillets without having to feed corn to actual fish will be uncovered, and you will buy fish from a factory that is not near the sea and has nothing to do with fish. In the meanwhile, real fish will be sold under another name, Sea Life, and only the rich will be able to enjoy this delicacy. For a while, while people still remember when fish were fish, there will be demonstrations and protests and rejections of tube fish, but then things will quiet down. Even fine restaurants will serve tube fish, like they do now with "krab," and claim it is real fish. Diners will go "Yum!" and the world will be a better place to live.

In other news, federal commercial fishing rules and limits have managed to close the last sardine canning plant in the nation. At one time, there were 50, now there are none. But this is old news. The Maine plant closed in April 2010, under the jobs president, Mr. Obama.

My latest book continues to spark controversy,
click the image to read about that.


6- Orwellian 9-11 Language

The lamestream media told you:
The lamestream media told you:

Terror. Terror attacks. Terrorists. Militants. Saudis.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Even in the face of constant broadcast and printed "news" reminders to Never Forget and We Will Always Remember, the political landscape is being washed of the truth about the Sep. 11 attacks on the United States. Periodic survey of news channels and news sources on 9-11 turned up no mentions of Islamists, Islamic warriors, Mulsim jihadis, or the global jihad being waged against the West. Maybe you saw some that I missed in an admitedly sporadic and unscientific survey. We were treated to endless footage of our losses again, and solemn ceremonies for the victims who are dearly missed, that got me choked up more than once. But the vicious and savage enemies who attacked us cannot be plainly named by the lamestream anymore, for fear of insulting them or appearing insensitive.

All the new laws are included as an update,
and everything is spelled out in plain English.


7- Election Results Missing

The lamestream media told you:
The lamestream media told you:

The Republicans won a serious upset on Tuesday, a bad sign for Mr. Obama. In New York, the heavily Democrat district with 40% Jewish population rejected a fellow Jew in favor of a Catholic. Voter registration is 3 - 1 against Republicans there. A poll says 54% of people there disapprove of Obama, 43% approve, and only 29% of independents say they approve. The 9th District has gone with a Democrat for nearly a century.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Associated Press reporter Beth Fouhy's story was packed with statistics, but somehow omitted the actual election results. Numbers like that don't matter, right? And average readers are confused by numbers. Since the reporter didn't even use adjectives like landslide or squeaker, the Uninvited Ombudsman figured it was worth a look. A lot of online sources left out the numbers. With 70% of the vote counted, the spread was large and expected to grow. I figure I may as well leave the figures out too.

Left-wing revisionists want to strip God out of our history,
but this little book documents how religion built this nation.


8- Justifiable Homicide Stats

The lamestream media told you:
The lamestream media told you:

The 413 killings by police nationwide that were ruled justifiable in 2009 were the most since 1994, FBI statistics show. And the 262 killings by private individuals ruled self-defense were the most since 1997. National numbers for 2010 are not yet available. With some variations, the numbers for both categories have been trending upward since about 2000.

Interestingly, the national rise in justifiable homicides has occurred as violent crime levels have dropped. The estimated U.S. violent crime level total in 2009 was 5.2 percent below the 2005 level and 7.5 percent below the 2000 level, according to the FBI.

A similar trend can be seen in Virginia, where 117 people have died in justifiable killings by police and 95 by private individuals between 1990 and 2010, according to an analysis of state and federal crime statistics by the Richmond Times-Dispatch. Guns were used in 94 percent of the deaths. By Mark Bowes, from the Richmond Times-Dispatch.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

I've got nothing to add.

This novel may not win any literary awards,
but it's a breathtaking adventure inside a corrupt BATFE,
and boy-oh-boy do they get theirs in the end.


9- Tidbits

The media headlines: "The government is likely to lose more than $1 billion"
The truth is: "The public is likely to get a $1 billion savings"

The media headlines: "The government has already lost more than $200 million"
The truth is: "The public has already gained more than $200 million"

The media reports: "Poverty rate hits 17-year high" (front page, above the fold, yesterday)
The truth is: Poverty in this nation means you have a TV, refrigerator, air conditioning,
stove, clothes washer, and if you want the most uplifting look at what poverty in America is,
you need to watch this wonderful Bill Whittle episode:


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"Alan, Have you taken me off your list? I haven't heard from you in a while."

[I've been pouring every available minute into finishing the 25th edition of the Arizona Gun Owner's Guide. My apologies for everything else that got shoved to a back burner while I reworked the book that got me started back in 1988, the book that showed Arizona what her rights were, the book that launched my career. Who knew how much of the gun law was related to restricting the ability to simply carry.]



Alan Korwin
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because he could do only a little." --Edmund Burke

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