PAGE NINE -- No. 46
by Alan Korwin, Author
Gun Laws of America


I've created a special feature for the print media and broadcasters ("Page Nine" regardless of where or when it runs), that covers stories afresh, not the way news rooms typically flavor things. It would help reduce the distrust so many news consumers feel and could be the most avidly followed item you carry -- if you carry it. It certainly is well received by my audience.

This casual sample might make you say, "We'll NEVER run that!" but Page Nine is being built around ad revenues from clear-thinking mainstream businesses.

Alan Korwin, Author
Gun Laws of America
"The Uninvited Ombudsman"


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The Uninvited Ombudsman Report, No. 46
by Alan Korwin, May 15, 2008

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(searchable by item number)

1- Olympic Shooting Plans
2- Presidential Gun Runners
3- Hiding Illegal Aliens
4- Advanced Degree Druggies
5- Homeless Carbon Bigfootprint
6- Communist Knife Crackdown
7-Anti-gun Promo Blackfires
8- Gunning For Toys
9- Special Italian Guest Columnist Craig Cantoni:
     "Racial" and "Racist" Are Not Synonyms




"New Mexico's Gun Laws" is back in print (new edition too!) after a lengthy absence; we now have guides for AZ, CA, FL, KS, MA, MN, MO, MT, NC, NJ, NM, NV, NY, OH, OR, PA, TN, TX, UT, VA, VT, WA.


Our brand new 32-page full-color catalog is hot off the press. Send a street address and we'll send you one free, full of cool new stuff. Even "Guns Save Lives" buttons you can't get elsewhere.


Islamic sharia law declares anyone born to a Muslim father is a Muslim for life with zero options; leaving the faith is the worst crime such a person can commit and is punishable by death by beheading; it's also a death-penalty violation to do anything to prevent the death sentence from being carried out. Read about the problems this would pose for "improving" relations with Muslim nations and for the Secret Service if B.H. Obama is elected, from an unusual source, The New York Times. (remove the line breaks to use the link)




1- Olympic Shooting Plans

The lamestream media told you:

Tibetan activists are bringing pressure on president Bush to boycott the upcoming summer Olympics in China.


The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

More than 170 rifle and pistol shooters from around the U.S. are competing for spots on the 2008 U.S. Olympic Team scheduled for August in Communist China. Rifle slots available, completely blacked out by "news" outlets focused on political posturing instead of the competitions, include Men's Prone, Men's 3-Position and Women's 3-Position. Pistol shooters are competing in Men's Free Pistol, Men's Rapid Fire Pistol and Women's Sport Pistol. The trials are held at Ft. Benning's International Shooting Complex in Columbus, Ga., May 12-22. (remove the line breaks to use the link)*http_mm




2- Presidential Gun Runners

The lamestream media told you:

Sen. Barack H. Obama and Sen. Hillary R. Clinton, both of whom no longer use their middle names for reasons that remain unexplained, support the olden second amendment, and they are working hard to attract the gun vote.


The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

The Brady anti-gun-rights campaign has issued its demands for "gun control" in a public "Message to candidates for president." The Democrat's candidates, if elected, are expected to work closely with the Brady group to implement "reasonable, common-sense" measures that include (quotes directly from the Brady newsletter):

-- Make it harder for undefined "dangerous people" to get undefined "dangerous weapons."

[FYI, note that anyone with a firearm (such as police officers, teachers or homeowners) are considered "dangerous" by hoplophobes and many politicians, and guns are not only dangerous, they're supposed to be dangerous and wouldn't be any good if they weren't dangerous.]

-- "A strong and permanent ban on military-style assault weapons."

[FYI, note that military-style weapons are precisely what the Second Amendment addresses, and "assault" is a type of behavior, not a type of hardware.]

-- "Close the gun show loophole."

[FYI, note that the private sale of property is not a loophole, that any criminal sale or purchase of a firearm at a gun show or anywhere else has already been severely criminalized and is largely unenforced, and why on earth should a gun-show gun sale be any more in Brady's sights than any other perfectly legal private sale between friends and relatives. Hmmm.]

-- "Closing the 'terror gap' in our background check system."

[FYI, I have no idea what this is but suspect it means using the so-called "no fly list" as a gun-ban list. This is a secretly generated list of airline passengers singled out for special treatment by unelected bureaucrats within the TSA or the HSA, without advanced notice or a published means of appeal.]

-- "Stand up against the gun pushers' lobby... and stand with victims... who have made it clear they want sensible gun laws."

[FYI, note they have not expressed interested in going after the criminal perps who assaulted the victims, but are focusing instead on the ownership, possession and use of liberty's teeth.]

-- "Insist the candidates get illegal guns out of our communities by [among other plans] strengthening the ATF."

[Source: "The Brady Report," Winter 2008]

Sen. John McCain, running as a Republican, has not yet responded to repeated requests to denounce or at least retract his support for the McCain gun-show loophole bill, which would have entirely eliminated gun shows in America. McCain, sometimes called "the least offensive of the Democrat's candidates," did once publicly deny that his bill would end gun shows, but unfortunately that was completely incorrect. The town hall event where the Uninvited Ombudsman had asked him about it did not allow followup questions. See the plain-English bill analysis here:

The "news" media, despite extensive opportunities, continues to refuse to ask the candidates, "If you're elected, what guns would you allow Americans to have?" The question of course is way loaded, but it would be fun to hear the replies, according to informed sources.




3- Hiding Illegal Aliens

The lamestream media told you:

Headline, Arizona Republic: "Man suspected of impregnating 11-year-old. An 18-year-old man has been accused of having sex with a 11-year-old girl and getting her pregnant, authorities said Friday."


The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

KPHO-TV version of the same story: "Illegal Immigrant Rapes, Impregnates Girl, 11. An 18-year-old illegal immigrant has been arrested in connection with the rape of an 11-year-old girl, Maricopa County sheriff's deputies said."

The Arizona Republic denies any bias or attempts to legitimize or hide illegal alien activity.

The Maricopa County Sheriff's Office reports the perp had been wanted in connection with a drug case.

Media pundits continue to debate why their credibility is evaporating.




4- Advanced Degree Druggies

The lamestream media told you:

At least seventy-five students at San Diego State University were arrested on a combination of drug, weapon and other charges in a sting that had been planned for months. Agents made 130 illegal drug buys without even attending classes before descending on the students with warrants.

Seized in the raids were more than four pounds of cocaine, 350 Ecstasy pills, pot, psychedelic mushrooms, hash oil, meth, prescription drugs and more. A fraternity house had been used as an organized distribution center, with emailed product notices and discounts promoted.


The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Drugs may not be as bad for you as government reports claim, with breaking news that a massive San Diego State University drug bust included a student about to receive a difficult criminal-justice law degree. Another was about to get a Masters Degree in Homeland Security, a field of study that didn't exist until recently, funded and encouraged by the relatively new federal Dept. of Homeland Security.

The wisdom of having government encourage degrees to fuel its operations was not addressed. The ethics of schools taking government funds to create government degree programs was not addressed. The irony of criminal-justice students earning money through drug sales went unnoticed in "news" reports.

"Supply may have been interrupted by the federal raids," says Counterintuitive Man in an unscheduled interview, "but the countless students who for years used the supplies are simply going to look elsewhere for their goods," he said, with typical candor.

"The idea that ruining this fraternity and revoking its revenue stream will stop pot smokers from smoking pot, or dancers from popping Ecstasy could only be believed by an imbecile," he said. "Hey, this is San Diego, on the Mexican border. You can buy almost anything here, by the ton. Closing one fraternity does nothing, but it does make nice nightly news reports where federal agents can strut around as if they've accomplished something."

He did suggest that students are probably somewhat nervous, as they smoke and pop their remaining stashes while seeking out new suppliers. Later reports suggested a half dozen fraternities were involved, but made no mention of every other college in the nation, because "officials" didn't give them anything to say.

In other news, federal agents busted an Arizona gun dealer for selling hundreds of weapons to drug gods in
Mexico involved in the U.S.-managed drug war. That war has left 2,500, mostly Mexican drug entrepreneurs, dead, according to the report. There was no news on when the war might be declared a victory and an armistice sought, or declared a defeat and abandoned entirely.

In still other news, a Marine battalion stationed within 20 yards of sprawling poppy fields in Afghanistan leave the vegetables untouched and their farmers unharmed, as a strict matter of policy. According to the commanders in the beautifully illustrated story, this is the only source of revenue for the poor farmers, and disturbing it would merely turn the people against the U.S. forces needlessly. The Taliban reportedly rakes in $100 million annually from the crops, which represent 33% of the nation's gross domestic product, according to the Associated Press.

Prices for government-banned drugs remained stable on world markets despite the reports.




5- Homeless Carbon Bigfootprint

The lamestream media told you:

According to a report aired on National Public Radio, even small carbon footprints in the U.S. (the measure of the destruction of the planet by greenhouse gases and abuse of Mother Earth) are remarkably large. A study of the lowest carbon-footprint group, homeless people, reveals larger than expected footprints. I am not making this up.

The homeless rely on homeless shelters, which have lights, use fuel, are ventilated, and prepare and serve food. Vehicles with engines supply goods, and sewage systems remove waste, leading to surprisingly large footprints.

Among suburban households, even ones struggling desperately to limit their use of limited natural resources, the numbers are measured in hundreds or even thousands of tons annually , according to the official sounding professor who conducted the study with his students. Future studies are planned because the students found it rewarding, and the prof apparently enjoys basking in the glow of the free publicity and fawning accolade.


The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Several underdeveloped African nations are being singled out for top awards for the lowest carbon footprints on the planet. With an average life expectancy of only 37, and residents subsisting without power, manufactured goods or adequate clothing such as shoes, and eating rodents they can catch or food they find on the ground, Zimbabwe is leading its low-footprint neighbors. Massive deaths due to storms in other parts of the world seemed to threaten their lead, but chief footprint judge Al "Bigfoot" Gore has declared several African backwaters in the lead.




6- Communist Knife Crackdown

The lamestream media told you:

A team of Chinese and Tibetan mountain climbers proudly displayed a special Olympic torch atop Mt. Everest, in a promotional effort to boost the legitimacy of the games. The actual torch is being carried through every province in China, scheduled to reach Beijing two days before the start of the games.


The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Communist Red China announced on May 6 that knife owners must be registered when they buy "potentially deadly knives," according to the Xinhua communist state news agency and relayed by Reuters, to help protect the safety of the games in the world's largest communist dictatorship.

Some observers believe that staged elections in the one-party state mean it is not a dictatorship. Reuters calls officials there "Communist rulers."

Among the knives that require citizens to be government listed are those with undefined "blood grooves," those with blades exceeding eight inches, and lock knives, presumably the type that any average American citizen might have in a pocket.

According to Reuters, "China, whose Communist rulers value stability above all else, has come down hard on anyone they fear could upset the Games, from people protesting against the demolition of their houses for venues, to the country's sometimes restless ethnic minorities."

Though the worthless fluff of the alternate-torch-on-a-cold-high-mountain news was widely carried, news of the knife crackdown fell into a hole.




7-Anti-gun Promo Blackfires

The lamestream media told you:

Gun deaths and gun violence are a national scourge that must be met with strict common-sense gun laws, to prevent rampant violence in society. Everyone is affected, so everyone must be subject to controls.


The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

In an effort to prove the "news" myth paraphrased above, The Baltimore Sun, which features standard anti-gun-rights bias in its reporting, published an interactive map of homicides in the Baltimore area.

Unfortunately for its inventors, the map only confirms what rights advocates have been declaring for decades -- it's not a gun problem, it's a demographic problem -- with social, economic and geographic components the political community refuses to admit. If they did, the fundamentally demographic nature of the enigma would emerge, and despite the horrifying facts, they would risk being called bad names.

The maps say it all. The data sets here are for all of 2007, Baltimore area, all forms of homicide (blue is choking, green is blunt force, red is shooting, black is stabbing, white is undetermined).

And don't shoot me, I'm only the messenger, blame the newspaper for letting the dirty little secret out -- it's not a gun or murder problem, it's a demographic problem.

These Baltimore Sun maps show a terrible problem but do not clarify who the murderers are.

[For people getting plain text versions of this report, or if the maps are not visible on your system, see the 2007 Baltimore Sun maps of people murdered, blacks murdered and whites murdered, at, at the Page Nine blue button link.]

(small jpg files:)

Baltimore Sun map of
PEOPLE murdered, 2007:

2007 All Murdered


Baltimore Sun map of
BLACKS murdered, 2007:

200t Blacks Murdered


Baltimore Sun map of
WHITES murdered, 2007:

2007 Whites Murdered


(large png files:)

2007 PEOPLE murdered (Baltimore Sun map):
2007 All Murdered


2007 BLACKS murdered (Baltimore Sun map):
2007 Blacks Murdered


2007 WHITES murdered (Baltimore Sun map):
2007 Whiles Murdered


"The lack of diversity is blatant and appalling," said one unidentified observer. Another suggested the results could reflect the city's makeup, but whites outnumber blacks there by more than two to one (3.5MM to 1.6MM). You can pick your own data and see the Baltimore Sun's results, for time periods, races, ages, homicide types, genders and more. Play with the map yourself, it's fun (remove the line breaks to use the link):


 8- Gunning For Toys

The lamestream media told you:

Fifteen states are considering laws that would ban toy guns, after police officers have felt threatened by the realistic replicas, and one 12-year-old boy was shot to death after pointing one at police in Arkansas.

The laws range from bans on having the toys in cars to restrictions on where they can be sold, such as at convenience stores. Federal law since 1988 has required bright orange tips on such toys, but according to police, kids can easily remove or paint over the tips, leaving the guns virtually undistinguishable from the real thing.


The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

A lengthy AP story by Lucas L. Johnson II describes a growing problem with airsoft plastic pellet guns, without identifying them as such. Whether the reporter knew what he was talking about was unclear at press time.

Communist China has been flooding the U.S. with the toys, which are valuable for practice, used in serious games of "tag" using protective gear, gun-handling safety training, show and tell, and are fun to own.

They are carried by many gun stores, most big-box retailers, and even sports chains like Big 5 that have stopped carrying real sidearms altogether. Smart shoppers can easily find the feature-rich, well-made, authentic-looking plastic replicas of many modern sidearms for under $20. The Uninvited Ombudsman admits to owning at least a half dozen, and uses them in private training sessions.

"When DeAunta Farrow appeared armed with one of these realistic-looking toys, threatened a police officer who was on a stakeout with it, and then refused commands to halt, of course he was shot," said a commentator who prefers to remain anonymous. "Don't parents teach their kids that cops can be dangerous, especially if you threaten them?"

"Why blame the court system, which refuses to use all the laws they have that ban threatening behavior, or the misfits who use toys or anything to threaten people, when you can just call for bans on the toys," says Counterintuitive Man. "Nothing is stupider, or more likely to remove you from the gene pool, than threatening a heavily armed cop on patrol with death, no matter how you do it," he said.

In one incident according to the AP, a 20-year-old waved an "Uzi" (actually a toy) from a car at a police cruiser, and the court could not get a conviction for threatening. That may be because they charged him with aggravated assault, and the jury could tell, in the quiet of the court, that it was a toy, not a "toy weapon" as the AP prefers to call it.

Dr. Brown's guidelines for making guns look bad in the news are posted at

It was not immediately clear if the vehicle had the bumper sticker that says, "Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a moving vehicle." The Uninvited Ombudsman eschews such bumper stickers as a safety risk.

Advice found in The Arizona Gun Owner's Guide and similar Bloomfield Press books could eliminate the problem, if followed. "Airsoft and other designs are often precise replicas of popular sidearms and virtually identical at a quick glance, so care must be taken to avoid giving the impression they are real. Don't panic the neighbors. And remember, people have been shot for brandishing 'nearly' guns."

Anti-rights advocates fighting to ban real firearms embrace any ban, even a toy ban, as a step in their right direction. "We support vilifying anything that looks gun-like, and moving us toward the ultimate goal of a complete ban on private firearms," their spokeswomenandmen refused to say. "That's why we support banning pointed-finger guns." Legislators pushing the bills, according to the AP, are doing it because "public safety demands they take action."

"Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom," said William Pitt (in 1783.)

The Toy Industry Association website "emphatically rejects the scenario that casts toys as villains" according to the AP. Communist China could not be reached for comment. A sales rush on the inexpensive perfectly legal still widely available good-looking fun toys has not been reported, but might make sense.

The sale of BB-type air guns or certain non-firing replicas have federal protection that even real firearms do not presently enjoy -- states are specifically prohibited from banning sales, under 15 USC §5001.




9- Special Guest Columnist Craig Cantoni:
Memo to race mongers: “racist” and “racial” are not synonyms

Race mongers in the moronic media are saying that it was racist for Hillary Clinton to state the fact that she gets more votes from working-class whites than does Barack Obama. Based on this incorrect use of the word “racist,” then I’m a racist for stating the fact that Obama gets more votes from blacks than does Clinton.

Actually, both her comment and mine are racial, not racist. A “racial” comment is a comment about race, whether negative, positive, neutral, factual, or not factual. A “racist” comment is a comment that reflects a belief that a given race is inherently inferior to another race.

Why is this distinction so difficult for the brain-belching class to understand?

Here’s a 10-question pop quiz to see if you understand the distinction:

1. Is it (a) racist or (b) racial to say that the Mafia, the Costa Nostra, and Tony Soprano have their roots in Sicily?

2. Is it (a) racist or (b) racial to say that Northern Italians are born smarter than Sicilians?

3. Is it (a) racist or (b) racial to say that as a group, African Americans have the highest rate of out-of-wedlock births?

4. Is it (a) racist or (b) racial to say that African Americans are genetically predisposed to having uncontrollable libidos?

5. Is it (a) racist or (b) racial to say that Asians outscore other minorities on placement tests?

6. Is it (a) racist or (b) racial to say that all Chinamen can’t be trusted?

7. Is it (a) racist or (b) racial to say that 90 percent of the illegal immigrants in Arizona are Mexicans and that their children have a dropout rate of 50 percent?

8. Is it (a) racist or (b) racial to say that Mexican immigrants don’t have the brains to learn English?

9. Is it (a) racist or (b) racial to say that Craig Cantoni reeks of garlic?

10. Is it (a) racist or (b) racial to say that Craig Cantoni is an idiot because he’s Italian?

Correct answers: “Racial” is the correct answer to all of the odd-numbered questions, and “racist,” to the even-numbered ones.

Bonus question: If a pundit, reporter, editorialist, K-12 teacher, or college professor uses “racist” as a synonym for “racial,” is he (a) a moron or (b) a race monger?

Correct answer: He is a moron and a race monger.


An author and consultant, Mr. Cantoni reeks of garlic and, thankfully, can be reached at a long distance by email at




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Alan Korwin
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Alan Korwin
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Comments help keep me going. Alan.


Page 9 is continually the highlight of my day whenever it comes. I usually tear it open like a 5 year old under the Christmas tree and devour the whole thing in a single bite. Keep 'em coming! --Garrett H.


One of my best friends has been forwarding your Page Nine updates to me. I finally got around to subscribing since household chores have prevented me from going to the range today - where I'm a regular. Thanks for all of your hard work. --Glenn H.


Alan, As for Levy and Gura, I doubt they'll ever become "villains in the annals of history." Even a 2nd Amendment that allows for "reasonable" regulation—including ridiculous regs involving licensure—is light years ahead of what we have now, which is that the 2nd Amendment is an inkblot that means nothing to any government that wants to believe it means nothing.  As in many other areas, we will end up having to chip away at the unreasonable regs, layer by layer. But that's how we got to where we are now: layer by layer. It's sad to think that we can't just win freedom all in one fell swoop, but that just seems to be part of life. Tom J.


Dear Mr. Cantoni, I read your posting in and you said that people write nasty e-mails to you every time you say that the public schools "indoctrinate" the nation's children with government propaganda... well, I must write you to say that you're absolutely right. You're right! The people who don't think so are the very problem that you're trying to warn us about. We've got all these brainwashed big-government junkies out there who are running around like Edmund O'Brian in the movie 1984 shouting, "LongLive Big-Brother! Long Live Big-BROTHER!!" when Big-Brother was really sticking it to him [us]. Well, I just wanted to tell you that you're 100% right about everything you said. Hang In There, --Joseph [Thanks much, Joseph. You made my day. Craig]



WE MOVED on JAN. 1, 2007!!

Alan Korwin
Bloomfield Press
"We publish the gun laws."
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