PAGE NINE -- No. 21

by Alan Korwin, Author
Gun Laws of America



I'm proposing a new page for newspapers ("Page Nine" regardless of the page it runs on), that covers stories afresh, not the way news rooms typically flavor things. It would help reduce the distrust so many readers feel. It could be the most read page in the paper.

Here's a casual sample. It might make you say, "We'll NEVER run that!" but the page is being built around ad revenues from clear-thinking mainstream businesses.

Alan Korwin, Author
Gun Laws of America
"The Uninvited Ombudsman"


The Uninvited Ombudsman Report, No. 21
by Alan Korwin, Dec. 18, 2006

Page Nine Is Now A Blog!
Sign up for automatic RSS feeds


All Page Nine reports are indexed at

Sign up (or off) for email delivery:


(searchable by item number)

1- Yes -- the Uninvited Ombudsman's new superhero, Counterintuitive Man, comments on illegal immigration, no?
2- Gun Sales Exploding
3- Brady Announces Plans
4- Oil Drilling Unblocked
5- Islamist Deaths Unreported
6- Don't Say Queer
7- Lesbian Mary Pregnant
8- Single Parents Dangerous
9- Guest Columnist Craig Cantoni on:
    Are We Free?

1- Korwin's new superhero idol, Counterintuitive Man, says:

The new multi-plan for unlimited Mexican immigration is working perfectly!

Promises of border control calm the American public without actually having to do anything!

An impossible border-fence law is passed without funding and the public loves it!

Tens of millions of dollars line the pockets of high-tech surveillance companies, for gear that isn’t deployed, doesn’t even work, and no one is even charged!

The complex Mexican logistics needed to move two-to-three million people up through Mexico to the border each year (5,500 a day) is running smoothly!

The Border Patrol has caught more than one million people each year for the past seven years, but since about two get in for every one caught, immigration is unaffected!

The Border Patrol doesn’t even stop anyone, since every person caught is just turned around and given another chance to attempt entry, over and over, until they make it!

Only indigenous short, swarthy native Mexicans with Aztec, Mayan, Incan and similar Indian blood are being expelled, and no one mentions the blatant racism!

Immigrants of Spanish and European descent are increasing their percentage by expelling the reviled indigenous peoples and no one notices or cares!

U.S. employers absorb every illegal who makes it in, everyone knows it, they all use the same fake social security number, and it’s OK!

Local police are disinterested, helpless, or prosecuted if they act, to keep things running!

Ranchers who stop illegal immigrants trespassing on their property are arrested and successfully sued, making the illegals rich!

Editorial complaints and even “news” stories about the so-called problem make for interesting reading and have no effect!

Maps of “Aztlan,” the proposed new Spanish-speaking country placed between the U.S. southwest and northern Mexico are proliferating, along with percentage-population charts, and U.S. “news” reports don’t even mention it!

[Note: Google “Aztlan,” or try this link to “MEChA” the Hispanic separatist organization that, according to its website, “encourages anti-American activities, and lays claim to the ‘lost territories’ of the Southwestern United States,”]

Stupid U.S. citizens think the National Council on La Raza is a civil-rights group, and the “news” media quotes them as if they are! (“La Raza” means “The Race.”)

Official plans are rapidly proceeding to eliminate the northern and southern U.S. borders, turning North America into a single unit, and it's less well known than if it were kept secret!

There's no reason to even try to stop illegal immigrants, since they'll soon be part of the NAU (North American Union) anyway!

Yes, everything about the massive migration multi-plan for the indigenous population of Mexico, and all the rest, is going smoothly and according to plan, no?


2- The lamestream media told you:

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
Imports of sporting arms and ammunition showed a 24.9 percent increase in third quarter over the same period last year, according to the U.S. International Trade Commission. Third quarter imports of handguns, muzzleloaders, shotguns, rifles, ammunition and shotshells totaled $175,664,230. For the first three quarters of the calendar year, sporting arms and ammunition import totals are up 15.2 percent over the same period in 2005, rising to $506,188,495 from $439,403,022. Source: National Shooting Sports Foundation,

The NICS federal background check for retail firearms purchases has handled more than 68 million gun sales since it began in 1998, but "news" outlets uniformly continue to suppress news of all this perfectly legal firearms activity, for reasons that were unclear at press time.


3- The lamestream media told you:
Guns were not much of an issue in the midterm elections, few politicians brought up the subject, Democrats know it’s a loser for them, and the new Congress will have other fish to fry.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
The Brady campaign released their gun agenda for the next Congress by direct mail on Nov. 22, absolutely giddy about changes the elections made in Congress. “We won more than 95% of the races where we endorsed a candidate,” they gushed, and now propose to:

--Re-enact the assault weapon ban
--Federalize all private gun sales
--Criminalize gun-show activity
--Strengthen the Brady law*
--Curb illegal gun sales*
--Pass life-saving gun laws*
--Repeal the Lawful Commerce in Firearms Act (the frivolous lawsuit ban)
--Limit the number of guns people can buy
*No details provided on what these goals might actually mean.

In addition, they plan to continue to fight for their “successes” while Republicans were in power:

--Block national concealed carry
--Maintain the gun-ban for Wash., D.C.
--Ban gun sales across state lines
--Continue gun-lock sales requirements
--Fight anything the “sleazy” (their word) NRA proposes
--Limit available “military-style firearms”
--Restrict “faster-firing, bigger clip” guns

After Katrina: “This will be a gun-free zone. We are going to confiscate every gun... Is that unreasonable?” --Illinois Democrat Senator Dick Durbin on the floor of Congress, July 13, 2006.

The Uninvited Ombudsman asks: should politicians who violate their oath to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution be removed from office or imprisoned?


4- The lamestream media told you:
Congress, sensitive to the demands of environmentalists, has blocked drilling for oil within 100 miles of the U.S. coastline for years, despite a desperate need to reduce our dependency on foreign oil. Revenue from oil sales to Arab nations provides major funding for their terrorism operations against us and our allies.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
It was pointed out by Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Penn.) on the floor of Congress last week (broadcast on C-SPAN but not picked up by lamestream outlets) that Communist China, Communist Cuba, and Venezuela under Hugo Chavez are drilling for oil within 50 miles of the U.S. coast.


5- The lamestream media told you:
Five U.S. soldiers were killed by a roadside bomb in Iraq, bringing the total in the first week of this month to 12. American newspapers have developed easy-to-recognize graphic sidebars for their routine reporting of U.S. military deaths by Muslim insurgents.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
The lamestream media has apparently stopped reporting on the number of Muslim extremists and jihadis killed by U.S. forces in Iraq. Although the number of Muslims who have killed each other is reported with some frequency, current “news” reports give the impression that U.S. soldiers simply hang out until they are killed, and do not fight back, shoot back, get payback, break things, seek and destroy the enemy, blow stuff up, or conduct operations against military targets.

The U.S. reportedly had 152,000 service personnel in Iraq in mid-November, most of them heavily armed and well equipped.

President Bush, in a recent speech that made little news, mentioned that we have killed or captured 5,900 enemy combatants in the past two-and-a-half months.


6- The lamestream media told you:
Republican Mark Foley is a very bad man and a reason for the defeat of the Republican Party at the polls in November. Even though his badness was known for a long time, no action was taken against him. Democrats generally support gayness and Republicans generally do not, though both parties have some.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
As near as is known, Mark Foley, an acknowledged homosexual member of Congress, has been found guilty of writing words that are not approved of, but has committed no conduct that would be considered against the law, with underage male pages serving in Congress.

The consequences for using unapproved “salacious” words will appear in the Uninvited Ombudsman’s next book, his 11th, on the limits of free speech, currently entitled, “Bomb Jokes for Airports.”

The Wash., D.C.-based National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association's guide to language for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community advocates against using the word “homosexual” to describe homosexuals, preferring the terms gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender, or simply GLBT. Older terms such as “fag” and “queer” are on the hate list and should never be used, the guide says.

Homosexuals may call each other fags and queers though, following the same hypocritical rules governing the “N” word for black and somewhat black people. Under these duplicitous guidelines, if you are a member of a group, you can use words that, if used by a non-member, constitute a hate crime. (NLGJA says gays have "reclaimed" these words as "self-affirming umbrella terms" but they remain "extremely offensive" for others to use.)

Isaac Asimov’s classic science fiction novels from the 1950s and 1960s often speak of things seeming queer, in the normal meaning of that word. Modern writers though have totally abandoned the word due to pressure from GLBTs (sometimes pronounced “gullbutts”).

The classic Christmas song "Deck The Halls" includes, “Don we now our gay apparel,” and the Flintstones theme says, "We'll have a gay old time," and are sung with gay abandon, though how much longer this may be acceptable is uncertain. No new material using gay or queer were known to be in the works at press time.

While the First Amendment says “Congress shall make no law,” regarding free speech, social engineers operating under political correctness have no such restriction. Some observers believe social pressure to be a far more pernicious and overarching set of rules than anything Congress can devise.

More than 400 things you’re not allowed to say are currently in the draft for “Bomb Jokes for Airports.” The book is expected out in 2007, but sometimes these things take longer than you expect.

Nearly every day, newspapers have stories about people in trouble somewhere for saying something. Look for it, it’s there.


7- The lamestream media told you:
Vice President “Dick” Cheney’s openly lesbian daughter Mary is pregnant.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

That’s impossible.

Mary Cheney’s partner of 15 years, Heather Poe, is said to be ecstatic. Lengthy stories carried everywhere failed to address how a lesbian couple might find themselves expecting.

No rumors of immaculate conception are circulating, despite the pregnant woman’s first name. If a man was involved, it’s unclear if the title “lesbian” would still apply. If reporters asked, it did not make it into published stories for some reason.

Extensive coverage of GLBT issues, political fallout for the vice president, religious objections to gay lifestyles, gay “marriage” amendments, and the wholesome relationship of the expectant couple, who attended a White House dinner for Prince Charles and his concubine (now wife) Camilla, have been reported.

Frequent charges of a gay agenda bias in the “news” media have been repeatedly denied. This is the first child for both women.


8- The lamestream media told you:
A child tragically killed his sibling with the gun of his mother's live-in boyfriend this week in Phoenix (12/9/06). Guns are obviously dangerous and something should be done about this.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
The "news" media may pose an even greater risk to children than guns left floating about by reckless live-in boyfriends, experts said today.

Although the media is fairly diligent about gun homicide stories, the effects of tobacco, obesity and unhealthful foods, and the expensive but ineffective programs to combat these horrors, they have fully neglected to point out the severe dangers of single parenting on kids. The dead child was living with a single parent, a fact that was glossed over.

The risk of fatal abuse to such children is 73 times greater than for children with married parents, a Heritage Foundation study has found. Children living with cohabiting parents are three times more likely to have behavioral disorders than children who have married parents. Expulsion rates, disciplinary actions and learning problems show similar effects.

Headlines on the harmful effects of "non-traditional" families, exploding rates of out-of-wedlock births, and huge increases in single-parent or cohabiting non-parent families have failed to appear in the news, for reasons which remain unclear. The effect of this hidden danger is severe, experts believe.


9- Special Guest Columnist Craig Cantoni
9- Special Guest Columnist Craig Cantoni

The balance sheet of freedom
By Craig J. Cantoni

Have Americans become more or less free over the last century?  Let’s examine some facts before attempting an answer.

Look at three categories of freedom: civil liberties, economic freedom and size of government.  As a starting point, balance sheets appear below for each category.  Since the balance sheets are a work in progress, you are encouraged to offer additional facts and to point out where the balance sheets may be incorrect.



On the plus side, the last century has seen:

-- The end of segregation

-- The enforcement of voting rights

-- Increased tolerance for Jews, Catholics, homosexuals and other minorities

-- Women’s suffrage


On the minus side, the last century has seen:

-- State-endorsed affirmative action and set-asides that favor some races

-- Speech codes on college campuses

-- McCain-Feingold and other laws that restrict political speech

-- The War on Drugs, which includes the prosecution of people who harm no one but themselves

-- Ever-growing restrictions on the right to keep and bear arms

-- The demonizing and massive taxing of people who enjoy tobacco

-- Eminent domain abuses and other infringements of property rights

-- Increased state involvement in the private and religious matter of holy matrimony

-- Overwhelming state involvement in the personal matter of health care

-- Social engineering by the left and right through the tax code

-- The Patriot Act (which some say protects liberty by taking a lot of it away)

-- An erosion of federalism (states’ rights) through new federal agencies and regulations, such as the Department of Education and the No Child Left Behind law

-- The adoption of Blaine amendments in 38 states (which had the stated purpose of stopping the public funding of private schools but the real purpose of putting Catholic schools out of business)

-- A slow and steady transformation of the nation from a constitutional republic to a majority-rule democracy, thus paving the way for the tyranny of the majority

Note:  Some plusses and minuses are not listed, because they cancel each other out or were short-lived.  For example, the 21st amendment canceled the 18th amendment (Prohibition).  And the internment of the Japanese during WWII and the Alien and Sedition Acts of WWI were egregious but short-lived.



On the plus side:

-- Enactment of NAFTA and other free-trade agreements

-- Deregulation of the transportation industry

-- Reduction in the capital gains tax


On the minus side:

-- Ratification of the 16th amendment, which has led to massive income redistribution, a tripling of taxes over the last century, and a 40,000-page tax code that even IRS doesn’t fully understand

-- Taking away people’s wages before they are received, through “withholding,” implemented in WWII

-- Nationalized health care and pensions for the elderly, and the corresponding confiscation of income over a working life for Social Security and Medicare

-- Beneficial creation of a Social Security Trust Fund that, hmmm, doesn’t exist

-- IRS regulations such as Section 401(k) of the tax code, which appear to let taxpayers keep more of their retirement savings but actually restrict how much Americans can save for retirement without being taxed on their investment income -- restrictions that didn’t exist 100 years ago

-- Protective tariffs on sugar and other products, and massive subsidies for farmers and industry

-- A smorgasbord of employment laws, minimum wage laws and living wage laws to control how business owners can run their own private businesses

-- Skyrocketing growth in nice-sounding programs that are actually transfer payments, subsidies and handouts, so that 60% of federal spending, a 12-fold increase since 1900, is now just redistribution of wealth

-- An alphabet-soup of regulatory agencies that make up their own rules, with the force of law, but without direct public controls -- See the 29 agencies established by FDR:
See the hundreds of federal agencies, boards and commissions since then:

-- 1,696 federal subsidy programs, a 44% increase since 1990 (

-- Government’s “take” from national income at 44% (up from 12% prior to 1930:

-- United States drops to 10th place on the Index of Economic Freedom, which is published by the Heritage Foundation and the Wall Street Journal (



On the plus side:

-- Civil Aeronautics Board abolished on Dec. 31, 1984


On the minus side:

-- Federal Register grew from 4,000 pages in 1935 to 68,000 today, a 17-fold increase

-- Consumers of wealth outnumber producers of wealth -- in 1940, 4 million Americans worked for government and 11 million worked in manufacturing, versus 21.5 million and 14.5 million, respectively, today

-- Government at all levels now costs each family of four approximately $50,000, double the amount in 1960, in inflation-adjusted dollars

-- The number of state and local government employees grew 474% since 1946, versus the 212% growth in the population

-- Average hourly earnings of state and local government employees are 31% higher than the average hourly earnings of private-sector employees, not counting the richer benefits of government employees

-- Unfunded liabilities of $1.4 trillion for retiree medical plans of local and state employees (


So -- minuses outnumber and outweigh plusses in every category.  However, the plusses are not as weak for Civil Liberties as they are for Economic Freedom and Growth in Government.

Why? The higher number and importance of civil-liberties plusses reflect the influence that opinion makers have on the body politic -- mainstream media, the K-12 public education establishment, university faculties and Hollywood.  Generally, they endorse most civil liberties but are lukewarm or hostile towards Second Amendment rights, property rights, free markets, individualism and limited government.

Have Americans become more or less free over the last century?  They are freer with respect to several important civil liberties, but are less free with respect to other civil liberties, economic freedom and the growth in government.

An author and columnist, Mr. Cantoni can be reached at



What would happen if Washington, Jefferson and Franklin suddenly found themselves in modern times? Read "Tempus Fugit" --A stunning achievement, eye-popping entertainment, critical thinking at its best. A superior gift idea.
Book review here:


Do something good for yourself -- get a book or two that your school teachers would NEVER recommend:



Thanks for reading!
Alan Korwin
The Uninvited Ombudsman


Page Nine Is Now A Blog!
Sign up for automatic RSS feeds


Now carrying or planning to carry Page Nine!

The Fifty Caliber Institute

Sonoran News Newspaper

Mens News Daily

The Payson Patriot Newspaper

Shotgun Sports

The Ryter Report

Wilson County News, Floresville, TX

The Libertarian Enterprise

The SanTan Sun (Phoenix Metro)

Ed Phillips' Arizona Almanac (Radio)

NYS Rifle & Pistol Association Newsletter "The Bullet"

Buckeye Firearms Association

Gun List
in Charlie Cutshaw's monthly column

Western Missouri Shooters Alliance

Virginia Liberty

Chelsea Rod & Gun Newsletter

American Daughter

Read It Here



Alan Korwin
"We publish the gun laws."
4848 E. Cactus #505-440
Scottsdale, AZ 85254
602-996-4020 Phone
602-494-0679 FAX
1-800-707-4020 Orders
Call, write, fax or click for a free full-color catalog.


If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you're reading this in English, thank a veteran.



Comments help keep me going. Alan.

Alan, I have no doubt that Rummy was sacked for political as much as operational reasons, but if Dubya had done so a couple months earlier maybe he would've avoided the worst of the disastrous midterms. --Barrett Tillman


Alan, The NSA has probably assigned a satellite to you by now. --Jerry Catania, GUN WORLD


Alan, Thanks for all page 9s. This one is especially great and thanks for including Craig Cantoni. I will single out one item. There is no "consequence" for politicians for violating their oath of office. --George Rowe


If it really is too late for a solution, and emigration is the most
practical option, what countries lack the "time-bomb" and are high on
the list for personal freedom?

In my casual search, Switzerland seemed the only place that was
reasonably hospitable in this regard, and their freedoms continue to
erode as liberals in THEIR government succumb to pressures from the EU.
So Switzerland might only provide a temporary solution.

Another alternative, of course, would be to "convert" to radical Islam,
emigrate to one of the many islamofascist dictatorships, and operate
as a mercenary of sorts.  Then, it would seem, one can do whatever the
hell one wants, and get paid for it, with unlimited supplies of guns,
ammo, food, women or goats, and other "pleasures"... provided one has
no compunctions about murdering & torturing the innocents, etc. As I do speak some German, Switzerland would be my first choice ;-)  --Dave Knight



Alan Korwin
"We publish the gun laws."
4848 E. Cactus #505-440
Scottsdale, AZ 85254
602-996-4020 Phone
602-494-0679 FAX
1-800-707-4020 Orders
Call, write, fax or click for a free full-color catalog.


If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you're reading this in English, thank a veteran.


Complete alphabetical list
Gun LawsGun Rights Gun PoliticsFree SpeechVideosSelf Defense and Safety
SurvivalPolice GuidesKnivesNovelsThe Founders PackageHistory of Rights
ButtonsRecent Additions  123Women & KidsFirst-Time Gun Owners
E-BooksNewest ProductsPackage Deals
Bloomfield Press and are domains owned by Alan Korwin.

Alan is a nationally recognized author of numerous books
on gun laws and other topics.

If you like this site you'll like his books. Take a look