PAGE NINE -- No. 83
by Alan Korwin, Author
Gun Laws of America


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I've created a special feature for the print media and broadcasters ("Page Nine" regardless of where or when it runs), that covers stories afresh, not the way news rooms typically flavor things. It would help reduce the distrust so many news consumers feel and could be the most avidly followed item you carry -- if you carry it. It certainly is well received by my audience.

This casual sample might make you say, "We'll NEVER run that!" but Page Nine is being built around ad revenues from clear-thinking mainstream businesses.

Alan Korwin, Author
Gun Laws of America
"The Uninvited Ombudsman"


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The Uninvited Ombudsman Report, No. 83
by Alan Korwin, April 2, 2010


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(searchable by item number)

1- Obamacare Death Threats
2- Phoenix Marchers Armed
3- Gun Popularity Grows
4- Doctors' Offices Invaded
5- Iceberg Scientists Confused
6- Reverse Tenth Amendment
7- Pandemics Wimp Out
8- Inert Explosives Company
9- Friend's Closing Wisdom



Concerning sales-tax holidays for guns in a few states on a few special days -- Gary Marbut points out that I left out Montana's plan -- they have a sales-tax holiday for everything, 365 days a year. Go ahead, Gary, rub it in.


Charles S. from Louisiana informs me that "Who dat" is not only a footballism and, "I honestly don't see this as a strictly ebonics phrase... Racial lines are more blurred here than in most parts of the country, and all colors of people can seem to talk like a 4th grader with a speech impediment." He claims that Cleveland Browns fans say, "Who dey," which translates to, "Who are they?" Shows yuh whut litle I no.


Many folks wrote to tell me that the Olympic biathalon was in fact carried by NBC-TV, one even commenting that the coverage was pretty good. If this is the worst mistake I ever make I'm in pretty good shape: "I watched the men's 15km and (a) most of the "skiing" was spent in "commercial breaks" and (b) they crowed about shooters missing targets -- and only showed "close-ups" of "misses", none of "hits".



I promised to have analysis of oral argument in McDonald v. Chicago posted "soon" and I've failed. I studied the transcript while flying back and forth to NYC for my niece's wedding recently, but haven't found the time to write up the many searing observations I made. I will get it done, it will be here with the rest of the case analysis. Soon.



Are you on Facebook? Uh-oh, the data being soaked up from you by "authorities" is VERY serious:

Time to finalize plans for your trip to D.C. for the Second Amendment March on Washington (formerly the Million Gun March). Set for April 19, from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., NE cor. of the Washington Monument, there are openings for volunteers and opportunities to participate at many levels -- your chance to make a difference with the Second Amendment. Get details at

States are making their own plans; in my open-carry home state Arizona, an armed march on the capitol is planned, with BYO brown bag picnic lunch, signs and pitchforks, high noon to 2 p.m., full details here:

Suzanna Gratia Hupp, who survived the Luby's massacre in Kileen, Texas, and went on to become one of the most pro-rights legislators has released her eye-witness account and personal story in hardcover; we have it, get yours now!

Lubys BookCover


NOTE: Posted at last -- The Woman's Page


We now have gun owner guides for 27 states, more coming.
Know your laws, stay safe, demand your rights.


50-State Traveler's Guide for 2010:


Plus -- we've introduced the Armed Response series of self-defense DVDs, truly excellent, take a look:


How To Run And Lose An Important Court Case

A western-state sheriff, justifiably angry with a very bad law he must obey, wants to mount his own challenge to the law in court. The law is unconstitutional on its face, a travesty and denial of our rights, needs to be overturned as badly as so many similar bad laws. He reached me through a mutual sheriff friend and asked for advice on how to proceed. My response might provide some insight for the rest of the pro-rights community:

It's a VERY bad idea to up and "test" a law on your own. That's the way horrific precedents are made. You need legal geniuses behind the effort, hundreds of possibilities and ramifications considered, and the PERFECT test case structured so it can be won. No amount of personal frustration is sufficient justification for a "wildcat" I'm-gonna-test-this-fool-law-and-right-the-world badly played game.

Find enough of the right people to back the plan FIRST, bankroll the effort, structure the test case, then go, I'm all for it. Oh, I'm sorry, that's hard? That's a lot of work? You don't know if you can or how to do that? You don't have a clue who the right people are? You just want to run with the football? Tough. Better to find your brain before you step in the quicksand and drag us all down with you. Otherwise, the chances that you'll doom everyone to a bad decision, in the wrong court, with dire consequences, well, you'll say I wish I knew then what I know now.

It doesn't matter how bad or unconstitutional you think a law is, what matters is if you can win in court. If you want to win on this point that's bugging you, assemble your team, hammer out strategies, raise the money, let all the gun-rights players know what you're up to, and go after it. Ask Larry Pratt about Ken Rineer's case.

One other person on the short list in this exchange wrote back to say, "I agree with Alan one million percent."




1- Obamacare Death Threats

The lamestream media told you:

Democrats and politicians involved in the health care reform bill have been getting death threats and threats of violence. "Violence is unacceptable in a democracy, where our differences are resolved through peaceful means," said every politician who commented on the subject, especially those receiving the threats.


The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Violence and threats of violence are only acceptable and appropriate when a government turns corrupt, defies the will of the people, acts way outside the powers delegated to it, schemes in closed-door secrecy, uses coercion, bribes and kickbacks to obtain votes like some petty banana-republic dictatorship, bans the opposition from participating, enacts bills that no person of good education can read, flat out lies about the content, adds content after voting, spends money that is not in the public coffers, and behaves in an elitist manner that infuriates and inflames the electorate that put them there.

And of course, we are not a democracy, we are a republic, big difference, thank you "news" media, go look it up.

The very forces that got America here prove the point. Government's purpose is to help secure life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, and "...whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government." Few options remain when the representative form of government breaks down as it is doing here and now.

"...when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government," and that's what the media is beginning to notice. What we the people are faced with, and are reacting to, "is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States."

All quotes from the American Declaration of Independence.




2- Phoenix Marchers Armed

The lamestream media told you:



The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

A so-called Million Gun March on Phoenix is set for Monday, April 19 at noon at the state capitol.

Arizona is going to have its own "Second Amendment March" to coordinate with the massive gun-rights rally expected in Washington D.C.

What I hear is that a lot of people are planning to take their safely holstered sidearms out for a walk... to the state capital from High Noon to 2 p.m. No one is organizing this thing, it's pure grass roots, no speechifying, no sound stage, just brown bag lunches on the lawn. Lots of lunches on the lawn. With beach blankets and folding chairs. And signs. And pitchforks.

In Arizona, with all the firearm freedoms we enjoy, it'll be more like a celebration of our rights* and "the shot heard 'round the world" than a protest rally against the evil elitist anti-rights bottom-feeding bigots clustered in D.C. The slaughter of Colonists at the town green in Lexington and the battle later that day  at Concord occurred on April 19, 1775.

In fact, local politicians who will be in session during this picnic are not particularly invited unless they are willing to bow and scrape before we the sovereigns, and kiss our rings, at least that's what I hear. Actually, we do have some excellent very pro-rights politicians in this state, and some will likely show their faces and press the flesh. Word recently arrived that they may set up a mic and PA system.

I plan to just descend on the capital and bring a hero sandwich, to hearken back to America's heroes past and present (plus, I really like hero sandwiches even though they're fattening). Will I see you there? This is no time to sit on the sidelines.

I'll also bring some homemade signs, something about our gun rights, just like most other people will do. And my pitchfork.

By the time people swing by in Phoenix (1700 W. Washington, just west of Wesley Bolin Plaza), the D.C. event will be nearly over due to the time difference. So we'll know how well that went as long as we get our info anywhere but the lamestream "news" that suppresses such things. (The 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. east coast rally is 7 a.m. - 1 p.m. local time here.)

Musician and libertarian Sharlene Holt of Musicians For Freedom <> is in touch with Skip Coryell, who's organizing the D.C. event, and she might have more information if you need it. But if you're an average American, you should be able to figure this all out on your own, it's not terribly complicated. What a great chance to show where we stand, and use our First Amendment right to assemble to honor our Second Amendment right to keep and bear arms.

If you didn't already get this notice, you're not on my AZ Only list, so you should send me a note and I'll add you.

NOTE: Posted at last -- The Woman's Page

*The Arizona Constitutional Carry law ("Freedom To Carry" SB 1108) is moving -- check out the action, and get involved if you're not already, at the Arizona Citizens Defense League (AzCDL) Arizona will become a beacon state for the nation -- your involvement WILL make a
difference. What will it mean for you? The bill was passed by the Senate on a 20 to 10 vote, 3/29/10!




3- Gun Popularity Grows

The lamestream media told you:

Nothing, absolutely nothing.


The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Background checks for retail gun sales hit 1,243,211 in February, up 22% from 2008, but down just slightly (1.3%) from the vast Obama sales boom in 2009. A Harris poll conducted by the National Shooting Sports Foundation found that 43% of respondents showed interest in participating in the shooting sports or hunting, which calculates out to 98 million people nationwide.

As to why Americans bought their most recent gun, 40% said home protection, 36% said personal protection, 30% responded target shooting, and 28% said hunting (categories overlap).

Enormously important, 45% of respondents said the biggest motivator to go to a range and get involved would be a personal invitation from a friend or family member. You want to boost support for the right to keep and bear arms? Invite someone to the range.

Based on dollars spent, the shooting sports are the number two participant (as opposed to spectator) sport in the nation, just ahead of third-place golf -- which the unbiased "news" media swamps with so much coverage that no space at all remains for the number two sport Americans enjoy. Vast numbers of reporters reportedly have never heard the phrase "shooting sports" and have no clue what that is.




4- Doctors' Offices Invaded

The lamestream media told you:

The historic health-care reform bill passed after 100 years of effort.


The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

The new federal health-care takeover bill passed after groundbreaking manipulation, coercion, kickbacks and bribery, all of which have gone unpunished. Doctors and patients (i.e., virtually all Americans) are scheduled to be hammered by the bill when its health care hits the fan over the next eight years (a new law-making stunt -- delayed implementation). You can find the bill on using its number, widely omitted from lamestream reports, H.R. 3590.

Unreported in the floods of reporting on this monumental reorganization of America is the fact that a new standard has entered the halls of Congress. How either party will resist the new model of getting votes by making gigantic unequal offers to select "representatives" is unclear, and undoing the harm caused by this corrupt practice, now a new benchmark for moving legislation, is unknown at press time. Wait... it's not that new, it's just bigger and more blatant than ever.

Identities of the reported 32 million people who will receive medical treatment at the expense of everyone else was unavailable at press time, and the actual number is unsubstantiated. Rumors that many of these people are in the country illegally were not denied by anyone. Whether these people actually want or need health insurance is unknown, especially since the identities of the people is a mystery.

Receiving virtually no attention, mind numbing piles of cash handouts called "grants" are strewn throughout the bill, according to the 21-page table of contents, including such gems as "Workforce Diversity Grants," an umbrella category of "Grants to States," "Community Transformation Grants" which will be determined later based on applications from non profits and "community service groups" and others, "Adult Protective Service Grants," and buckets of money for people and groups who know how to apply to get it. Other grants are hidden under other headings, such as grants tucked into the lengthy "Elder Justice" section.

Somewhere in the bowels of bureaucracy is someone who knows what this is: "Application Of Coding Intensity Adjustment During MA Payment Transition," but you sure can't tell from reading the item. That's true of virtually the entire bill, but it didn't stop your "representatives" from voting for it. If your legislators voted for it and didn't know what it was, that's malfeasance, and grounds for removal from office -- without waiting for another election to do so.

Do not trust anyone who says they've read the bill, since they're lying. The bill cannot be read in the normal sense of the word. It must be dissected and arduously cross referenced to gain any understanding of most of it. For example: "(J) Section 137 of such Code is amended—(i) by striking ‘‘section 23(d)’’ in sub-section (d) and inserting ‘‘section 36C(d)’’, and 4 (ii) by striking ‘‘section 23’’ in sub-section (e) and inserting ‘‘section 36C’’. I am not making this up.

Some parts even include English but are equally undecipherable: " ‘‘(3) Health Insurance.—The term ‘health insurance’ shall not include—‘‘(A) any insurance coverage described in paragraph (1)(A) or (3) of section 9832(c) of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986..." You too can randomly pick out sections like this, try it, it's fun, they're everywhere.

It should be noted that the four or five key talking points of the bill, which dominated "news" coverage the entire time, can be put into law in a mere few pages, hiding the fact that the 2,400 pages of this bill contains astounding levels of government growth, new bureaucracy, and massive controls over the public and private industry.

For example: "No person shall be denied the right to buy any kind of legal insurance from any legal provider in the nation," can be spelled out in a page or two (or one sentence, as the Uninvited Ombudsman has just done). It could also be re-cast to be more effective: "Any person who denies a citizen the right to buy legal insurance from any legal provider in the world shall be imprisoned or fined." Every "news" talking point can be made that simple.

Thankfully, the "news" is finally talking about finding out what's in the bill, now that it's too late, and bragging about dictates they are finding -- like the requirement for restaurants to analyze and publish the nutritional content of their meals, an obvious desperately needed health care reform the president must have been talking about when he failed to mention it (sic).

The same applies to virtually every other ballyhooed feature in this extraordinarily socialist usurpation of power. A new book, Intellectual Terrorism, to be available from Bloomfield Press soon, suggests jail terms for legislators who introduce or support socialist legislation harmful to the United States.




5- Iceberg Scientists Confused

The lamestream media told you:

"With the dramatic crash of an iceberg against a glacier that dislodged a massive new chunk of ice, the mysterious continent of Antarctica once again did the unexpected," according to Seth Borenstein of the AP.

"A big chunk of ice, slightly smaller than Oahu, broke off from a place it wasn't supposed to and in a way that wasn't anticipated, scientists reported Friday."


The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Proving they understand little about naturally occurring global phenomenon, scientists expressed surprise that ice changes its location and form in Antarctica. Claiming the ice behaved in ways it "wasn't supposed to," and that "wasn't anticipated," scientists clearly demonstrated they do not know how ice is "supposed" behave, since it clearly behaves the way it does, despite a deep lack of understanding on the scientists behalf.

The event, surprisingly, was not blamed on global warming for reasons that are unclear, along with the third massive snow storm in the northeast this month.




6- Reverse Tenth Amendment

The lamestream media told you:

Citizens armed with loaded weapons will now be free to roam the National Parks, since a federal ban on such dangerous behavior has been lifted. Progressives are angry at Mr. Obama for allowing the law to go into effect.


The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

In a bizarre twist, the newly revived freedom to carry firearms in National Parks and Wildlife Refuges (effective 2/22/10, has set federal forces back on their heels.

Under the new carry provisions, the feds are forced to comply with state laws in the 493 individual parks and "federal islands" spread throughout the 50 states. Rather than states bowing to the feds in an unholy expansion of power, the feds must bow to the states and their local gun laws. State gun laws apply in those territorial islands, and changes to state law will apply there as well. The dog is finally wagging the tail.

We could use more laws like this. This is the 10th Amendment in action.




7- Pandemics Wimp Out

The lamestream media told you:

Be very afraid of the coming disease disasters, from the flu to AIDS, which could wipe out most of the world. Get your safety-serum vaccinations today.


The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Occasional Page Nine commentator and Cartridge Family Band guitarist Eric Cartridge points out that, "Check this out, gentlemen (articles linked below): AIDS may not even exist in the form the lamestream media and medical establishment has led us to believe (which probably has something to do with why many people are able to live with it). Not that this is surprising to me -- AIDS may well fall into the phantom (or at least exaggerated) boogie-man category with other so-called "pandemics" like SARS, bird flu, swine flu, HPV, H1N1 super flu, (remember all those and the desperate warnings and injection encouragements they came with?) ad infinitum which never materialized into a major threat to humanity... Fear is the motivator, money is the means and control is the end. A proper skeptic always keeps these things in mind. I would recommend looking at other theories of the so-called 'AIDS' question in terms of how it is defined, its causes, and its cures." See,,




8- Inert Explosives Company

The lamestream media told you:



The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

It's amazing how many specialty companies we have in America that get no attention in the public eye. Look at this:


Specializing in custom made inert explosive training products and IED training aids for official training use, Inert Products, LLC provides the military, law enforcement, and other government agencies worldwide with inert IED-Defeat training aids. They claim to be the industry leader in the USA for inert explosive training aids (with no hazardous or energetic components) in the training-aid market.  The company is a GSA contract holder able to provide government clients through all the procurement portals. ("Procurement portals" are the established methods for doling out money to the enormous array of outfits that get tax dollars for supplying the government.) They constantly update their inventory to keep up with current operations on today's modern battlefields, and can make custom devices in a matter of weeks.  Their product lines contain over 1000 items, including but not limited to:

Replica Ordnance, Replica Grenades, Replica Mines, Replica Weapons and Ammunitions, Training Aid Kits, X-Ray Correct Training Products, Training Posters, DVDs and Booklets, Replica Detonation Cord, Time Fuse and Shock Tube, Replica Blasting Caps, Replica Plastic Explosives, Replica Dynamite, and more. Much of this is not available to the general public. Shucks.


9- Closing wisdom from a friend:

When it comes to realism about elections, democrats (the Evil Party) generally do better than republicans (the Stupid Party). Democrats really want to win. They’re motivated by a belief that America is a sexist, racist, homophobic, unfair, unequal country. At the same time, they believe that society can be fundamentally changed by the political process. Therefore, getting and keeping political power means everything, and justifies any and all subterfuges. In addition, many democrats know that if they don’t win, they don’t eat. Many leftwing activists live on government paychecks, or government grants to organizations that, like ACORN, meet their budgets with taxpayer money. Democrats know they’ll get the votes of the illegals, and that’s why they favor open borders.  That’s political reality. Bill Sumner. [NOTE: You should watch for open-border and amnesty bills under the deceptive Orwellian name "comprehensive immigration reform."]




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NOTE: Posted at last -- The Woman's Page


You wanna do be more effective politically and help regain constitutional control of the government? You need to know how. This page gives you the tip of that iceberg:


The Heller Case: Gun Rights Affirmed! This first edition of history captures the excitement of "The Case That Saved The Second Amendment." Your rights are crucial, this book helps you protect them. I was there as a guest of the Supreme Court -- eyewitness accounts, the entire case dissected in plain English, summaries of all 96 High Court gun cases. Tremendous reference, fascinating reading.


The 2009 Traveler's Guide to the Gun Laws of the 50 States: Plus, state editions for Massachusetts, Michigan, New Hampshire, North Carolina Ohio, South Carolina, the Dakotas, NEW JERSEY!, Virginia, and check for you state:





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Alan Korwin
The Uninvited Ombudsman


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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you're reading this in English, thank a veteran.


"No one could make a greater mistake
than he who did nothing because
he could do only a little."
--Edmund Burke


Comments help keep me going. Alan.


If you're like some folks who ask if they can link to or forward my stuff, the answer is YES, and I'm honored by such interest. You can use the PageNine logo or any art from my site, with my thanks and appreciation. Please SEND ME A LINK to your posting.



Get a life. Cliches like "mainstream" media exposes either an extreme right or extreme left agenda i.e. communism or fascism. There is nothing wrong with mainstream. It's the insignificant tributaries that pollute the mainstream not the other way around. --Tim K.
[Which is it Tom -- is mainstream indicative of totalitarianism (your first line) or perfectly OK (your second line)? What are the tributaries that pollute, say, network TV or the big boss newspapers? Alan.]


Dear Alan, Thank you for the article on the Olympics Biathlon Rifle. I was able to secure an almost NIB specimen after the Olympics. I integrated an electric motor and beater bar to the bead, and now vacuum my carpets using the rear sight for guidance, and the trigger to initiate power. Great device! Thanks a bunch, Slobo.


I'm guessing you don't have any one in your family with special needs. If you did you wouldn't have written such garbage. What makes you so laughable is that you get to have your opinion and that's free speech, but when I tell you that your words are hateful and hurt my child you hide behind the notion that anyone who suggests that you show a modicum of decency towards the most vulnerable in our society is playing the hated politically correct card. No one is trying to impose a legal ban on your right to use hateful speech, we are simply trying to appeal to the better angels of your nature. --Stella

[I played no PC card, don't even know you. Many people are indeed trying to impose legal bans on our speech -- I'm completing a book packed with examples. Sympathy for "special needs" people, what we used to call the handicapped, and Orwellian destruction of our language, are separate issues that both need sensitivity and firm resolve. Because people bent on destroying our nation (both deliberately and through ignorant do-gooderism) are attacking the language exactly as predicted by great thinkers with foresight, they must be resisted with all our strength. My heart goes out to you and whomever in your family faces special challenges, but please don't use that as a club to beat the rest of us into submission over our use of words. Strengthening your child against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune is a better strategy than accusing people who speak that their words don't suit you. Alan.]


Thank you so very much for your live reports on the McDonald case! Your posts have consistently been the most complete, and understandable, ones available. Keep up the good work. Also .... very glad to hear that the NRA's Clement did such a good job --- makes me proud to be a longtime member! -TGK (From Turkey, TX)


Quit sending me this sh*t. Guns are dangerous. I used to hunt. You want everybody to have an AK47? You are crazy. -Ed M.

[Cursing is low class Ed. Guns are supposed to be dangerous, they wouldn't be any good if they weren't dangerous. I haven't said anything about AK-47s, why did you? I reported on a quintessential Supreme Court case. I'm not crazy, but you're close to making the case that you might be. You're off the list, but if you change your mind and want unfiltered news, find all Page Nine info here:]


No matter how brief or incompleted your report may be, I still come away with a better "feel" for what happened during the McDonald v. Chicago proceedings today and yesterday with your blog than I get from all the online news clips I read. Thanks for taking the time to help all of us "little guys" understand and stay informed. Nathan A.



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Alan Korwin
Bloomfield Press
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